Spouse Support Comes Full Circle

  • Published
  • By Lynne Bailey, 97 MXG Key Spouse
  • 97 AMW Public Affairs

Today we take time to thank, appreciate and celebrate all of our courageous military spouses.

All of us have all gone through many different challenges during our spouses’ careers serving in the Armed Forces. One thing I have come to know is that, since the beginning of my husband’s career, the military life is made up of one big family.

When my husband enlisted as an Airman 28 years ago into the United States Air Force, we traveled to our first duty station at Incirlik AB, Turkey. Wow. Talk about the fear of the unknown. In country, however, we were really fortunate to connect with Tom and Beth Warner, the first Air Force family who welcomed us into the service. Tom and Beth soon became our family and mentors during that time. We learned what an Air Force Family was supposed to be like. I also learned firsthand the importance of my role in supporting my spouse’s military career, and would continue to develop this from other military spouse mentors we had along the way.

In 1994, we returned back to the United States to Shaw AFB in South Carolina. Over those next four years, my husband went from an enlisted Airman to an officer. He attended the Charleston Southern ROTC program and was commissioned in 1998. I went back to work to help support us and our daughter during this time. But from the day the day I married my Airman, I still continued to recognize my primary roles were, and continue to be, taking care of our family, our home, and supporting my spouse.

After commissioning, we had a permanent change of station to Okinawa, Japan. Thankfully, another Air Force family was there again to support us and help us through this new season of our lives. I was introduced to wives’ socials, the “adopting an Airman for Thanksgiving” program, having meals brought to me when our son was born and learned to do the same for our military families like a family should.

I learned a lot in our next chapter with the help of our third Air Force family as a military spouse. As my husband moved up in his career, I had to continually work to find where I fit in and how I could help support him, while also making a difference in the lives of the other military families we were surrounded by. During this time, our newest Air Force family became some of our closest and lifelong friends, with whom we still keep in contact. We know they would be there for us at a moment’s notice!

After that, we moved on to the Air Force Reserves, after almost 15 years of active duty service. My husband soon became a Squadron Commander, which was brand new territory for us both. My role had changed again and in 2013, I was introduced to the Key Spouse Program. This showed me the many ways I could impact families by helping to care for the families within his command. Every Air Force base has a Key Spouse program with dedicated, supportive and caring volunteers who want every military spouse to feel empowered, encouraged and equipped to be the best military spouse they can be. As a Key Spouse, anyone associated with Air Force, even DOD civilians, can volunteer to help inform, connect and care for each other.

But our journey is not over yet, even though we are getting nearer to the final chapter of our Air Force life. Since the beginning, we have moved twice overseas and then six more times stateside - three times while still active duty and two more times while being in the reserves. Yes, the reserves move, too. In their part of the Air Force mission, they are needed all over the world, too. Our last move was into a Department of Defense Civil Service job stationed at a small base in a rural community. It is not all about where you go, but about connecting with your Air Force family.

You may ask, “Wait. Your husband is now a DOD Civil Service employee. How is that the same?” The mission is still the same as it was in our active duty and reserve service - serving our country and taking care of people. This time it is all of the maintainers who provide safe, reliable aircraft for the country. Once again, as with every duty station we have ever had, we were welcomed in by our Air Force family here at Altus AFB, Oklahoma. We are both from the East Coast and had never been stationed out West. We landed in a new place with new challenges. But getting connected, learning about being in the Civil Service community and meeting the local community has always helped me find my way in a new place.

I want to say that what we have learned so far is that being a military spouse has been the hardest most, rewarding job I have ever been able to do. It has taught me to be flexible, to care for people, to go outside of my comfort zone and mostly to support my family. To me, family is a very broad term, including anyone who needs help.

I can proudly say that I have been a military spouse of an enlisted Airman, an officer in the reserves and now a civilian Airman for the United States Air Force. But at the end of it all, I am a wife, mother, sister and friend to those that have entered my life as we have moved from place to place all over this world. One of my favorite quotes says it best - “As a Military Spouse, you were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”